“’Don’t be afraid, Mary,’ the angel told her, ‘for you have found favor with God!’” Luke 1:30 NLT.

What was it about Mary and Joseph that God would trust them with his one and only son? Mary was just a young girl who had never raised a child. And Joseph was only a carpenter. What made this couple, not even yet married, worthy to be entrusted with the most special child that would ever be born?

They did not have adequate means to provide the finer things in life. They were not well educated. They didn’t come from a powerful family and have any valuable connections. They were just a poor couple from Nazareth, which was certainly not a prestigious location. Why them?

Because God knew their hearts. They had sought him throughout their lives and cultivated a relationship with him. They were receptive to receive the angel’s message, though it was impossible to fathom.

I’m sure they made their fair share of mistakes, as all first-time parents do. They didn’t always understand him. Such as the time he remained teaching in the temple as a twelve year old boy and they didn’t know where he was. But they trusted in God, who told them that their child would be the Messiah.

I pray that God could find the same receptive heart within you and me, to hear and obey his voice. God judges by different standards: an obedient heart means far more to him than wealth or position. God looks at us with eyes that see not only who we are, but who we can be.

“Because God’s children are human beings—made of flesh and blood—the Son also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had the power of death” Hebrews 2:14.

We all get sentimental at Christmas time. Everyone loves a baby, and the sight of that sweet little one wrapped in swaddling clothes and being gazed down upon with the adoring eyes of his parents gets us every time.

But so what? Lots of babies have been born through the centuries. What made that baby so special that everyone celebrates his birthday by wracking up credit card debt every year?
He wasn’t just another baby: he was God incarnate. And he allowed himself to be born into a dirty world for a very specific purpose: to redeem humankind. He modeled how to know and have a relationship with our Creator. And then, in the greatest act of selfless love ever known, he allowed himself to be sacrificed as the Spotless Lamb.

If you believe that being a “good Christian” is enough to get to heaven, then consider the uselessness of Jesus’ birth, death, and resurrection. It was pointless if human goodness was all that salvation required. The basis of our faith is Jesus Christ, and if his sacrificial death was unnecessary, we might as well cancel Christmas and stay home on Sundays.

Jesus declared in John 14:6, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the father except through me.” If you don’t know him personally, and have never asked for the forgiveness of your sins and invited the Holy Spirit to take up residence within you, I urge you to do it now.

“Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, ‘You are the God who sees me’” Genesis 16:13a NLT.

When Sarah decided to take fate into her own hands and produce an heir through unconventional means, she didn’t stop to consider how she might feel once the objective was accomplished. Hagar, her maidservant, became the vessel for the only heir. And as Hagar began to feel empowered by her new status, Sarah began to feel resentful.

Sarah began to treat Hagar so harshly that Hagar ran away into the desert. And there an angel of the Lord came to her to give her comfort, counsel and a promise. He told her return to her mistress, and to name her baby Ishmael, which means “the Lord hears,” for the Lord had heard her cry of distress. He also promised that she, like Sarah, would have many descendants.

Although Hagar was only a servant, and partially responsibility for her situation, God still treated her with compassion. Humbled by this kindness, Hagar says, “You are the God who sees me.”

When I feel lost in the desert of life, it comforts me to remember Hagar’s experience. No matter how small and insignificant I may feel, God still hears my cries of distress and sees my need. He will not abandon me to stumble through the wilderness alone.

What a beautiful thought. When I feel overwhelmed by circumstances and fears, I stop and pray with gratitude: “You are the God who sees me!”

“The Lord is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayers of the righteous,” Proverbs 15:29.

During a particularly stressful time in my life, I found it impossible to leave my problems with God. I found myself praying over and over in a very nagging sort of way. Yes, there is the parable of the woman who went before the judge and he finally granted her request because of her continuous efforts. I believe God does want us to be persistent in prayer.

But when I listen to my daughter nagging, I realize what an unpleasant sound it is to the ears. I do not think God enjoys the sound of my voice asking him the same thing over and over.

Sometimes you need a visual reminder of a spiritual truth you know and believe. I have a prayer basket strategically positioned next to a cross. When my daughter or I have something we are anxious about and need to trust to God, we write the prayer on a piece of paper and place it in the basket. It’s like God’s mailbox.

Whenever I find myself worrying about something I’ve already talked to God about, I remind myself, “It’s in the basket. God’s already handling it. No need to nag him.” And then I thank him for the way that he is going to answer this prayer, for I know he will handle it with love and wisdom.

Is there anything heavy on your heart that you keep repeating to the Lord? Remember, God heard your prayer. He’s on it.

“It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to the Most High. It is good to proclaim your unfailing love in the morning, your faithfulness in the evening” Psalm 92:1-2.

When fear strikes, my first defense should be to remember how God has dealt with me kindly in the past and to be thankful for how he will go before me now. He has not spared me from all sorrow, but he has allowed me to grow stronger and wiser. He has restrained the enemy and provided for all my needs. He has led me with a loving hand through dark valleys and brought me into the sunshine.

The Lord has been my savior, provider and protector, and my heart will be always filled with gratitude for the blessings he has generously given to me. I should never give into fear, but respond to life’s trials with praise: “Thank you, Lord, for you already know what I need and are at work to provide it. I will wait and see what you will do.”

And in those rare moments when I face no great struggles, when all is quiet, my heart bows humbly before the Lord to thank him for this gift. I don’t take it for granted.

A prayer journal is a great way to document how God has provided answers and met needs. A gratitude journal is another way to open our eyes to the blessings that surround us. It’s so easy to focus on the things we lack or the things we fear and to overlook the abundance already in our lives.

God deserves our thanks much more often than once a year!

“When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose name I praise, in God I trust”
Psalm 56:3-4.

If love is the most powerful force on earth, fear follows as a close second. It directly impacts the decisions we make every day. And while some fears are God-given and act as a safeguard to prevent us from doing foolish or harmful things, other fears are from the enemy and restrict and inhibit us from living abundant lives that honor and reflect God.

These kinds of dark fears creep in and take control of our thoughts. We lose sleep over them. How will I pay the bills next month? How can I handle the person who is out to get me? What if something bad happens to my loved one? What if my car breaks down? What if I fail—again? Did all my clothes shrink or am I getting fat?

I assume I’m not the only one with this kind of interior monologue running through my head as it rests sleeplessly on the pillow. Fear can be so powerful that it dictates our lives; or we can take a deep breath and turn it over to the Creator, the Lover of our Souls. God will provide for all of my needs—he always has. And he will go before me and clear a path and whisper the directions in my ear, if only I will listen.

When I am afraid, I must quiet my fears and let only one voice speak to my heart: that still, small voice that assures me of his loving presence in my life.

“I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled… Lord, please! Send anyone else.” Exodus 4: 10b and 13 NLT

Why would anyone choose to stay in a small life when the opportunity for a big destiny exists? I’ll tell you in one word: Fear. Fear of being unworthy, fear of inadequacy, and fear of failure… What if I try and I just mess up? Everyone will notice and I’ll be so humiliated.

There are those who do everything they can to be the center of attention. But then there are others who avoid the limelight because they feel insignificant and incapable. Although these two approaches may seem polar opposite, they actually have something in common: the focus is on self.

Moses tried to tell God again in Exodus 6:12, “My own people won’t listen to me anymore. How can I expect Pharaoh to listen? I’m such a clumsy speaker!” But God had chosen Moses to be his spokesperson and would empower him to fulfill this task. God didn’t ask Moses to be a great orator, he asked him to be obedient.

As I struggle with this attitude, God has convicted me that my focus should be on serving him and bringing honor and glory to his name—not worrying about potential embarrassment. I’m sure I won’t do everything perfectly, but God is asking for obedience, not perfection. In II Corinthians 12:9 the Lord instructs Paul: “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” Despite my many failings, God can still use me to advance his kingdom if I live in obedience to him.

“Let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” Hebrews 12:1 NIV.

“Monsters vs. Aliens” is the movie of the month at my house. Susan was hit by a meteor just minutes before her wedding. During the ceremony, Susan grows to incredible heights as a result of the chemicals absorbed. The army locks her away in a top secret facility for monsters, changing her name to Ginormica. The only thing she can think about during her imprisonment is the life she was supposed to have with Derek.

When an alien robot lands in San Francisco, the President promises to grant the monsters their freedom in exchange for fighting the robot. Susan discovers her strength in the battle, and returns home a hero.

But she doesn’t receive a warm welcome from her fiancé, Derek. He reveals who he had been all along: a selfish jerk who is concerned only with his career. “Why did I have to get hit by a meteor to see that?” Susan wonders in disgust. She then vows, “I’ll never shortchange myself again!” But the story doesn’t end there. Her newfound confidence and sense of identity are soon tested by the evil alien, Galaxar.

Watching it for 15th time, I wondered how many of us are missing out on a big destiny because we can’t see the things that are holding us back. It might be unhealthy relationships, habits or ideas. My prayer is that God will hit you over the head with a meteor because he loves you too much to leave you in small life.

“No one whose hope is in you, Lord, will ever be put to shame” Psalm 25:3 NIV.

As I wait for God to work out the things I cannot control in my life, I remember the Hebrew enslavement in Egypt. They had been slaves for what seemed like forever and all the sudden Moses shows up and says: “I’m here to bust you out.” They probably felt a new and powerful hope surge through them. Freedom!

But then he goes before the Pharaoh, and they don’t get set free. They’re made to work harder. In fact, every time Moses goes to the Pharaoh to ask for their freedom, something bad happens. Now they’re thinking, “Maybe we should just let things be.”

Sometimes, it seems, living in slavery is easier because I know what to expect. But when I suddenly have hope of immediate delivery—only to be disappointed again and again—I begin to not only lose hope, but grow bitter and resentful. “Nothing’s ever going to change.” And I refuse to get my hopes up again.

The hope-disappointment cycle is emotionally exhausting. But as we know, the Hebrew slaves were eventually given their freedom. How do we live with hope in the presence of disappointment?

Well, what did God actually promise you and me? First of all, he promised to always be with us. This gives me the hope that whatever happens, God will give me the strength to endure it. Secondly, he gave the promise of future blessing to those who are faithful. Now I have to—uh-oh!—wait patiently and keep my emotions under submission.

“Though it is against the law, I will go in to see the king. And if I must die, I must die” Esther 4:16c (NLT).
When Sarah made the decision to produce an heir through unconventional means, she was trying to take control of her life to achieve a desired result. At the heart of this decision was the fear that God would not give her a child and the assumption that she could not be happy without one.

In contrast, Esther chose to go before the king to plead for her people knowing that the result could well be her own immediate death. Esther was afraid of the consequences, but she came to a profound decision.

She chose to accept whatever God gave her. Unlike Sarah, who tried to manipulate life to give her the desires of her heart. Which leads to a difficult question: who am I more like, Sarah or Esther? If God denies me all that I dream, can I still trust him and be happy?

Can I wait to see if the Lord will give or withhold his blessings, and can I accept whatever he gives me? Honestly, if I could manipulate life to give me what I wish, I would be tempted to try it. But what would I forfeit with my impatience?

When I surrender all of my life and dreams, there is peace in knowing that the God of the Universe has ordered my life with love and wisdom. Even if I don’t like his decision.

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” Psalm 27:14.

Have you ever wondered what blessings you’ve forfeited because of your impatience? What if God had something wonderful planned for you, but you grew tired of waiting and settled for something far inferior? And what if that decision to not wait, to settle for something less, had irrevocable and far reaching consequences?

Sarah wanted a baby. She didn’t know that God had planned to send her Isaac. She only knew that there was no heir to the family wealth and that it was a disgrace to have no children. So she came up with a plan to fix it.

The child that resulted from her scheme, Ishmael, born by her maidservant, Hagar, is the father of the Arab people who are still at war with the Jews today. Wow! If Sarah had only waited, she could have avoided the conflict that arose between her and Hagar, and the conflict which still exists between their descendents. In her impatience, in her failure to trust God to give or to withhold his blessing, she changed the course of history.

What have I passed up because I didn’t want to wait to see what the Lord would give me? How have I changed the course of my life? I guess I’ll never know for sure. I only know that I don’t want to let it happen again.

“But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing” James 1:4 (NLT).

“I need help with my computer,” my daughter announced, fully expecting the elliptical machine to come to an immediate stop. Instead I answered, “Let me finish, then I’ll come see what’s wrong.”

“But it won’t work!” she insisted. I smiled, answering, “I know dear, and that’s why I’m going to look at it for you. But I have to finish exercising first.”

I understand her impatience. Waiting is misery. Especially when we are so used to immediate gratification and all the big things are out of our control. But don’t ever pray that God will give you patience: there’s only one way to learn it. Yep, by waiting. God never sprinkles pixie dust.

Sometimes we are forced to wait years for the fulfillment of our hopes and dreams. Abraham had to wait for twenty-five years before his beloved son was born, out of whom God would make a great nation. Moses had to wait forty years before he could carry out the task of delivering his people from Pharaoh’s domination. I’m sure God had a good reason for making them wait, such as preparing their hearts to be obedient to his voice.

Ultimately, patience is waiting with a peaceful heart.

There’s a whole list of really important things that I simply can’t control in life. But I must daily remind myself that God knows my needs and desires, and will work everything out in the best way and at the best time. Patience is rooted in trusting in God.

“Don’t let your heart be deceived so that you turn away from the Lord and serve and worship other gods” Deut. 11:16 NLT.

Ever seen the movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You”? There are plenty of other dating movies, if you haven’t. You know the scenario: the woman is afraid to leave her phone for fear she’ll miss the important call and checks her voice mail obsessively just to be sure she hasn’t. She hopes and dreams that every man she meets will be her one true love.

Characters like that strike me as… pathetic. But I can’t judge too harshly. We’ve all fallen into moments of longing desperately for something, whether it was a date with our soul mate or a more lucrative career. It’s easy to fall into the trap of obsessing on the things we want and to allow this longing to control us.

But anything that means more to us than God is an idol. Those female characters in the dating movies don’t pray for God to send them the right guy at the right time and for the patience to wait until then. And how many men spend time in earnest prayer about the appropriate purchase of a boat or a job promotion? When our thoughts are fixated on something other than God, we’re travelling down the wrong path.

There’s a Praise & Worship song that declares: “I’m desperate for you… I’m lost without you…” You know, the only thing we can’t live without is a relationship with our Savior.

“So commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these words of mine. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.” Deut. 11:18-19.

Have you ever noticed that in America we tend to compartmentalize our lives? There is Home, Work, Religion, Friends, and perhaps also Sports or Hobbies. Each is a separate and distinct category, with very little crossover. But here’s the problem: Religion is a waste of time. You heard me.

A Relationship with Jesus is what makes the difference, now and forever. And that is a relationship that should not be restricted to a time and place. It should be an essential part of your identity that cannot help but to overflow into all aspects of your life.

How does your faith inform how you live daily? It should influence what you do, say and watch, as well as how you treat family, friends and strangers. It should have a direct impact on your character and integrity, which is reflected to the people who live in closest proximity to you.

Ever heard the question: If you were on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you? Are you a “Closet Christian” who feels like Religion is a private matter that should not be openly discussed? Are you afraid that people may not like you or think you are a religious freak?

When you love someone deeply and passionately, people don’t have to guess how you feel because you talk about them all the time, show off pictures and call them on your lunch break. It isn’t out of obligation: it’s natural and spontaneous. Do you love the Lord that way?

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11-13

As I confront the ramifications of losing my full-time job, I can relate to the character of Rebecca Bloomwood in the movie, Confessions of a Shopaholic. Let me clarify that I’ve never been a true shopaholic: I could never afford it and I don’t believe in accruing debt. But I did enjoy a good shopping spree now and then, even if everything was on clearance. But now I’m forced to stop and evaluate: “Do I need this?” When your budget dramatically shrinks, every purchase has to be thoughtfully analyzed.

When I see a beautiful pair of boots, I release a deep sigh of longing. How I would love to bring them home with me! Just as Rebecca confessed that when she shops, all is right with the world, then it isn’t, and she has to go shopping again—I think most of us can admit we’ve experienced the elation of therapeutic shopping. Now deprived of this pleasure, I must readjust my thinking and my expectations to meet the reality of my financial situation.

And you know what? I don’t need another pair of boots (as my daughter would tell you) and after the initial feeling of longing, I actually feel a certain amount of satisfaction walking away from them.

I have everything I need to live well. I have a loving family, a roof over my head, food to eat, and plenty of shoes. Above all, I have a relationship with the Creator. I am truly blessed.

“The Lord had said to Abram, ‘Leave your native country… and go to the land that I will show you. …So Abram departed as the Lord had instructed.” Genesis 12:1-4.

God could have given him the name of the final destination, an estimated travel time and maybe a few road marks along the way. But I guess Abram would have relied on the map instead of faith, and God is in the business of building faith.

A few weeks ago I learned that my job as teacher’s aide was hinged on the receipt of Pre-K contracts. Without this job, I cannot afford to send Grace to the Calverton School. I told Grace we must trust that God’s plan is the best plan, and accept it whether we like it or not. My Plan B was to homeschool.

The day before school started I received the official word: no job. Grace and I were both disappointed, but I had my Plan B—God’s Plan A—ready to initiate. As I move forward with it, God is providing the right people and resources for us and already I feel blessed to be where he wants us to be. I am excited about this new phase in our lives. I have learned that God’s plans are for my ultimate good, if I am willing to yield my life to his wisdom. God will not lead me anywhere he is not willing to accompany me.

I’m still working out details about income, and trying to assemble an expert curriculum for Grace. But one thing I know: God will lead me and he will provide for us. I will choose to trust him, despite any pangs of anxiety.

“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too” Mark 11:25 (NLT).

What if it’s just not that easy to let go of your anger? The wound is too deep; the loss too great. The anger is too powerful to relinquish hold over you, and hatred is creeping into your heart. The Bible speaks often on the necessity of forgiving, but there’s no psychological discourse on how one goes about it.

Start with John 6:28: “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” It’s impossible to honestly pray for a person’s peace and healing if you are harboring resentment for them. The prayer is uttered through gritted teeth, if you can even spit out the words. Pray it anyway, and while you’re at it, ask God to heal your anger.

For a little while, you’ll feel peace. But then you’ll remember the words or event that originally triggered the anger, and hatred will flood back into your heart like poison. The danger lies in not separating the anger from the hatred. The actions may be hated, but not the perpetrator.

Our emotions tangle it up into a knot that seems too complicated to untie. But not for God. Every time we feel the anger crossing the line we have to forgive again, until one day we can remember without hatred. Because we probably aren’t ever going to forget: we are shaped by life’s experiences. We must let life make us wiser, not bitter.

“Be angry, and do not sin” Psalm 4:4 (NLT).

God created humans to experience a vast array of emotions. One of these is anger. The Bible doesn’t say that being angry is a sin. It warns us of the danger in allowing this strong emotion to lead us into hatred, a desire for revenge, or at the very least, spiteful words.

There are times when anger is the only appropriate response: injustice, victimization of the innocent, blatant acts of evil and malicious disregard for the truth are a few such examples. Jesus got angry. Read John 2:13-16. But the Bible says Jesus was without sin, so his anger was deserved. It’s called “righteous anger.”

The problem is that often our anger isn’t righteous. So when you feel the blood pressure going up, stop and evaluate if it’s warranted or if it’s an ego issue. Remember that difficult person in your life? They’re good at triggering this particular emotion. And sometimes we need to take a stand; other times we must exhibit wisdom and restraint by being the peacemaker and diffusing the situation. Even when we are right and they are wrong.

Take your anger to God and ask him how you should deal with it. Remember, it’s ok to feel angry. Just don’t let the emotion take over and lead you into sin. If it’s justified, let it empower you to do something positive and meaningful, or just to make you a wiser, stronger person. Remember, every uncomfortable experience can be a teaching moment if only we are open to learn.

“Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you” Luke 6:28 (NLT).

Is there anyone in your life who plucks your nerves and makes you insane? Some people are just annoying; others seem to lay awake at night contriving how they can make us miserable. How do we deal with them?

Pray for them. And not, “Please God, let lightning strike” or “Lord, please make him pay!” These are knee jerk reactions, but as Christians we are meant to rise above basic human instincts.

In our daily walk with the Lord, as we align our thinking with God’s teachings, our hearts should be softening for all his children. When we consider them as God’s prodigals, we can begin to glimpse the heart of God being broken with longing for his children’s redemption.

Try this one: “Lord, please help him to let go of his anger or bitterness and to find peace and healing. Soften his heart, so that he can receive you.”

Yeah, it might feel like a waste of time. And they might never change. But your conscience will be clear, and God can use this person as a tool in your life to shape you into the likeness of his son, if you allow Him.

As you finish your prayer, don’t forget that you are not responsible for his actions, but you are accountable for your reaction to them. “Show me how to respond as a peacemaker instead of lashing out; give me wisdom and gentleness as I assert my boundaries.”

Difficult people are God’s children, too.

“Never stop praying” I Thessalonians 5:17.

Does prayer work? How do we know if our prayers have been heard? The expected outcome is an obvious change in the circumstances of our lives, but what if that doesn’t happen? Did God fail us?

I once made the mistake of believing that I could, through my prayers, direct God how to run the universe (which he, by the way, created). After many tears, I came to a brilliant realization. The purpose of prayer is to establish a relationship of trust and intimacy with God, and to learn from him. He really doesn’t need our advice.

But how do we hear him? It’s hard to listen for God’s voice because the phone doesn’t ring when he’s ready to speak. You just have to be ready at all times for a still small voice to reveal itself through any number of possible means. And as your relationship with God develops, he gives the wisdom and insight to deal with life’s problems.

So tell God everything that is burdening you. But don’t forget to thank him for all the ways he has already blessed you, and trust that he really does have your best interest at heart. As you read the Bible or listen to inspirational music or words, be open to receiving God’s message. Take the time to be still, and listen.

God is yearning to communicate with you. He already loves you. Talk to him, and learn to love him better.

“And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure” James 4:30 (NLT).

When my daughter asks me to buy her another stuffed animal or ice cream because she absolutely needs it, she knows I’m probably going to say no. I hate to do it, but if I give in to every request it isn’t good for her character or her health. When we pray, we have to trust that God is making decisions based on wisdom and love, and with our best interest in mind.

Walking through the deepest valley of my life, I learned that my prayers did not unlock any magic on the world. I had to ask myself, what I am doing wrong? How should I be praying?

Instead of giving God instructions on how to direct the next chapter of my life (that’s the writer in me), I’m learning to submit my will to his. “Lord, please fix this problem in my life. But if it’s not your will, give me the wisdom to know what I can learn from it and give me the strength to endure it. Please walk with me and let me feel your presence.”

Sometimes God will give us what we want, but more than anything God desires for us to grow in character and integrity. Remember the fruits of the spirit in Galatians 5:22: “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.” Pray for these qualities to develop within you and God will never say “No.”

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing” James 1:2-4.

“Doesn’t God want me to be happy?” After a difficult journey through the last decade, I’ve concluded that the answer is “No.” Sorry, don’t mean to be a downer, but God has different goals than we do.

We wish for everything to work out well, like a Disney Fairy Tale. We have been led to believe silly ideas like “Dreams really do come true” and “There’s someone for everyone.” But remember, these are not inalienable rights guaranteed to all humankind.

God’s desire is for us to know, love, and trust him. Unfortunately, if life was easy and we sailed through it smiling, we would forget about God in our self sufficiency. God actually blesses us with times of suffering so that we might accomplish the greater purpose of learning to rest in his arms. There we can know peace and joy regardless of life’s hardships.

For a long time, I kept waiting for life to get better. Instead, I’d get hit with another crisis—but one from which I would learn a valuable spiritual lesson. I finally understood that without my knowledge or consent, God had signed me up for the Personal Growth Plan. Guess what? God has you on the plan, too.

God is more concerned with our character than he is with our happiness. Life’s crises and disappointments are actually opportunities for growth.

“Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow” James 1:17 NLT.

Happiness results spontaneously when there is a cause for it. Viktor Frankl asserts that it is the side effect of attaining a goal. When we participate in meaningful activities or relationships, it just happens. We don’t have to wish for it or force it. We’re happy when there’s a reason to be.

What about the rest of the time? Especially the hard times. Happiness isn’t possible when life is miserable; but we don’t need to be depressed. During these times we must practice contentment. Many successful people suggest keeping a Gratitude Journal on a daily basis. This forces us to become alert to the blessings in our lives. It’s easy to notice the things that go wrong. We have to be intentional about noticing the small and simple things that are good in our lives.

And from whom do these blessings come? Our loving Heavenly Father whose eyes are upon us all the time, even in the dark valleys of life. Think about how you feel when your kids are grateful for the 202 toys you’ve given them instead of begging for yet another one. When we develop grateful hearts, we can claim contentment even in the unhappy times.

Try this exercise: this week don’t ask God for anything (for yourself anyway). Begin every prayer with “Thank you for…” and see if you don’t experience an increase in your feelings of well being.

"If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and
will heal their land" II Chronicles, 7:14.

We’ll get back to happiness next week; our country was heavy on my heart this weekend. A recent e-mail encouraged the daily praying of this verse. But more than that, I challenge you to live it. Saying the words like a mantra will have no effective result. In order for God to forgive us and heal our land we need to do three things: humble ourselves, pray and seek God’s face, and turn from our wicked ways.

When we live humble lives, we do what is right without needing praise for it. We accept correction and take responsibility for mistakes. We show kindness and mercy to everyone we meet—not just the people we like. And when we pray, we don’t ask God for petty things, but we earnestly engage in the mystery of a relationship with our Creator. The last part is the most difficult: letting go of attitudes and habits that dishonor God.

I’ve heard it said that Christianity in the U. S. is a mile wide and an inch deep. There are a lot of people who call themselves Christians, and may even attend church regularly. But that is not the same as having a relationship with the Living God: a relationship that affects every nuance of your existence. We need to stop compartmentalizing our faith and live it. If our nation is to be spared judgment, Christians need to begin taking their faith seriously.

Actions speak louder than words. Does your life testify of Christ?

“Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be” Matt. 6:21

All we want in life is to be happy. As Americans, we have this idea that it’s an inalienable right. But how many of us are genuinely happy? What would it take for you to be happy?

In my moments of unhappiness, I’ve thought long and hard on the topic. The next several posts will examine my conclusions. For one thing, I’ve discovered a direct correlation between my state of unhappiness and my expectations. If I believe that certain things are necessary for my happiness—things I don’t have, of course—then I am constantly aware of my lack. If, however, I suspend the expectation of happiness at all and simply live daily with gratitude for what I’ve been given, my feeling of well being increases.

Even though we are Americans, there are still only two things in life which are guaranteed: death and taxes. We need to stop expecting so much. There will always be someone who has more than we do. More wealth, more love, more beauty. If we wait for these things to be happy, we forfeit the moments of our lives which could have been spent enjoyably.

When our hearts yearn for a deeper relationship with the Lord, we discover a treasure that cannot be taken away—not by an economic depression, divorce, or illness. Our joy must be deeply rooted in the God of our Salvation.

“But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope” I Thessalonians 4:13.

The most exhilarating and empowering emotion on earth is Hope. It allows our minds to dream and our hearts to soar. When the days are dark, hope is what keeps us holding on, believing that the light will shine again. Without it, there is only bleak and empty despair.

Paul admonishes us not to live as those who are without hope, for we are not tethered down to grief and suffering. Every one of us will know it, but as Christians, our hope is anchored in Jesus Christ, who has conquered sin and death forever. We still live with its effects, but we also live with the hope of Christ within us, and the hope of eternal life with the perfection of God as our bright sun.

As my heart heals from past scars, I realize that the most successful thing the Enemy of Our Souls can do is to whisper in our ears that all is hopeless. Without hope, we give up. Something inside us slowly dies, so that we do not have the strength to dream, to try, to live abundantly. The gifts that God has given us go unused. The message that we could share with others goes unspoken. The life that could be given back to God as a song of praise is wasted.

We cannot live as those who do not have hope! God’s dream for our lives can be realized, and we must learn to share his dream.

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” John 8:32.

Every night I read to my daughter. Lately we’ve been reading “The Secret Garden.” As with everything, I use it as a learning opportunity to explain broad concepts that will be valuable to Grace throughout her life.

Mary’s cousin, Colin, has been bedridden all his life. He is ten years old. What has kept him locked away in his room, hiding from the world? The crippling belief that he is sickly, looks like a hunchback, and will die young. But as Mary spends time with him, she realizes that these are false messages that Colin has internalized. And she refuses to reinforce them. Instead, she helps him to discover the strength and courage that he’d possessed all along--only he didn’t know it.

Does this resonate in your soul like it does in mine? How many false messages have we internalized through the years? How many times have we allowed other people’s issues to influence how we felt about ourselves? Or simply accepted the “whims of fate” as divine decrees? Life goes wrong. People hurt us through harsh words, betrayal and selfishness. But these do not reflect on who we are.

Do you really know who God has made you to be? Ask him to open your eyes to the false messages that you have internalized, and to allow you to see yourself as God sees you. Like Colin, we have been crippled by false beliefs about ourselves. But God can set us free.

“O my son… do not waste your strength on women… speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice” Proverbs 31: 2, 3 and 9.

Why do you never hear how to be a Proverbs 31 man? King Lemuel’s wisdom is given first to men, then to women. But he goes about it in two very different ways because while men and women are both made in the image of God, but both exhibit different trends.

While women are naturally relational, men are prone to focus on career advancement and broad issues, and to internalize their emotions rather than share them. And while women yearn for romance, men think more about the physical relationship. Both make the success of life possible. You take care of finding solutions to the combustible fuel problem and I’ll take care of making dinner. (I didn’t say it would be good).

King Lemuel advised men to curb their natural instincts and focus their God-given strength on making a positive impact on the world around them. What makes a man appealing? It isn’t his muscles or money that matter most. It’s his strength of character.

Is he strong enough to be gentle? Is he strong enough to be kind and generous? Is he strong enough to be faithful, to his God and his family? Is he strong enough to control his darker side? And, is he strong enough to be honest and humble?

I guess there are guys like that out there. I mean, I guess so…

Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.”

Most women want not only to look beautiful, but to feel beautiful. And there’s nothing wrong with that as long as we remember that the inner beauty of our character will continue to shine long after outward beauty has begun to fade away. Wrinkles are unavoidable. Luckily, true beauty isn’t rooted in appearance but in the invisible aspects of our identity.

The ideal woman depicted in Proverbs 31 embraces her own identity and gifts, and carries herself with dignity. She is a woman of courage, who speaks the truth and does not allow fear to rule her life. She spends time in reflection and prayer, allowing God to impart his wisdom to her so that she will not make foolish choices. She demonstrates kindness to those around her, whether they are likeable or not. These are the attributes of true and lasting beauty, and any one of us can achieve them regardless of our height or weight.

Ladies, do we spend as much time cultivating our inner beauty as we do fussing about our looks? Why don’t you add a new step to your beauty regime? While you’re applying your make-up, reflect on your character growth. Ask God to reveal any hidden ugliness within you so that it can become a target area for improvement. Inner beauty requires work, too.

P.S. Next week we’ll talk about the ideal man. That should be fun.

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14 NKJV.

The human body is an amazingly complex mechanism. The brain intrigues me with its many functions and abilities, some of which we are still in the process of discovering. The nervous system is another example of an intricate and ingenious work of art. But let’s be honest here, cellulite and stretch marks are more “fearful” than they are “wonderful.” I mean, do you know anyone who’s ever been awed and inspired by them?

After confessing my love affair with M&M’s, it only seemed appropriate to discuss a related topic: body issues. Did I mention that I have a whole tub of clothes that no longer fit? I’m saving them for when and if I ever lose the weight, or more likely, when they’ll fit my daughter in two years.

Have you ever thought about the amount of time and money women invest into being beautiful? The manicures/pedicures, hair coloring and cutting, the products and devices for styling, the make-up and skin care regime… Whew! It’s a lot of work. Then, we have to reduce our carbs and increase our exercise and in the end, we still aren’t pleased with our appearance. Meanwhile, men shower and shave. Ok, I guess they might have body issues too. So they have to diet and exercise--it’s still less work!

It just seems to me that this struggle to be beautiful is a self-defeating cycle. Some women are naturally beautiful, and some of us do the best we can and will never resemble those gorgeous, tall, skinny celebrities. So what? Maybe that’s not the end of the world.

We are all God’s creations, and we are fearfully and wonderfully made. He’s not concerned with the outward appearance that others might judge us by. God looks at the true person hidden within the shelter of the human body. He invested himself into our existence, our construction, and he was pleased with the accomplishment. It’s ok to devote some time to hygiene and style; in fact, it’s an expression of our self-respect. But let’s be careful not to get sucked into false expectations that set us up for self-depreciating attitudes.

Anyone else guilty as charged?

Let’s take this week to meditate on the loving hand which designed us. When God looks at us, he doesn’t notice the big pointed nose or the muffin roll. He just sees your heart and accepts you for who you are. Can you do the same? Can you accept and love yourself even if you’re not a runway model?

Today, I would like to celebrate the wonderful, healing aspects of M&M’s. I cannot tell you what the secret ingredient is in these delightful little candies that gives me an automatic sense of peace and well-being, but I can only testify to their potency. Peppermint Patties are good too, but when I feel down, I self-medicate with a big bag of old-fashioned plain M&M’s.

A good friend of mine commented on the irony of my blog name. She has known me for at least fifteen years and remembers the time I won a contest by estimating the number of M&M’s in a jar. Meditations & Musings could easily be nick-named M&M’s. How appropriate!

But the truth is the medicinal properties of M&M’s is highly disputable and there is a better way to deal with depression and anxiety: trusting God. It’s calorie free and has no negative side effects. I love my candy coated chocolates that melt in my mouth and not in my hand, but I have a container full of clothes in my closet that used to fit me three years ago. Trusting in God will give me a sense of peace and well-being that won’t take me up another size.

While it may feel like my supervisor, big boss, the president, the economy, etc. is in control of my life, they’re not. They may make decisions that effect my situation, but God directs my destiny. Nothing that happens takes him by surprise. He loves me and desires the very best for me, and sometimes that means insecurity and unpleasant changes. I don’t have to like it; but I do have to trust him and be grateful for the ways he has blessed me.

So I’m going to kneel in prayer instead of reaching for my favorite brown candy bag.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT).

How do you deal with your stress?