“And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure” James 4:30 (NLT).

When my daughter asks me to buy her another stuffed animal or ice cream because she absolutely needs it, she knows I’m probably going to say no. I hate to do it, but if I give in to every request it isn’t good for her character or her health. When we pray, we have to trust that God is making decisions based on wisdom and love, and with our best interest in mind.

Walking through the deepest valley of my life, I learned that my prayers did not unlock any magic on the world. I had to ask myself, what I am doing wrong? How should I be praying?

Instead of giving God instructions on how to direct the next chapter of my life (that’s the writer in me), I’m learning to submit my will to his. “Lord, please fix this problem in my life. But if it’s not your will, give me the wisdom to know what I can learn from it and give me the strength to endure it. Please walk with me and let me feel your presence.”

Sometimes God will give us what we want, but more than anything God desires for us to grow in character and integrity. Remember the fruits of the spirit in Galatians 5:22: “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.” Pray for these qualities to develop within you and God will never say “No.”