“Though it is against the law, I will go in to see the king. And if I must die, I must die” Esther 4:16c (NLT).
When Sarah made the decision to produce an heir through unconventional means, she was trying to take control of her life to achieve a desired result. At the heart of this decision was the fear that God would not give her a child and the assumption that she could not be happy without one.

In contrast, Esther chose to go before the king to plead for her people knowing that the result could well be her own immediate death. Esther was afraid of the consequences, but she came to a profound decision.

She chose to accept whatever God gave her. Unlike Sarah, who tried to manipulate life to give her the desires of her heart. Which leads to a difficult question: who am I more like, Sarah or Esther? If God denies me all that I dream, can I still trust him and be happy?

Can I wait to see if the Lord will give or withhold his blessings, and can I accept whatever he gives me? Honestly, if I could manipulate life to give me what I wish, I would be tempted to try it. But what would I forfeit with my impatience?

When I surrender all of my life and dreams, there is peace in knowing that the God of the Universe has ordered my life with love and wisdom. Even if I don’t like his decision.

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” Psalm 27:14.

Have you ever wondered what blessings you’ve forfeited because of your impatience? What if God had something wonderful planned for you, but you grew tired of waiting and settled for something far inferior? And what if that decision to not wait, to settle for something less, had irrevocable and far reaching consequences?

Sarah wanted a baby. She didn’t know that God had planned to send her Isaac. She only knew that there was no heir to the family wealth and that it was a disgrace to have no children. So she came up with a plan to fix it.

The child that resulted from her scheme, Ishmael, born by her maidservant, Hagar, is the father of the Arab people who are still at war with the Jews today. Wow! If Sarah had only waited, she could have avoided the conflict that arose between her and Hagar, and the conflict which still exists between their descendents. In her impatience, in her failure to trust God to give or to withhold his blessing, she changed the course of history.

What have I passed up because I didn’t want to wait to see what the Lord would give me? How have I changed the course of my life? I guess I’ll never know for sure. I only know that I don’t want to let it happen again.

“But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing” James 1:4 (NLT).

“I need help with my computer,” my daughter announced, fully expecting the elliptical machine to come to an immediate stop. Instead I answered, “Let me finish, then I’ll come see what’s wrong.”

“But it won’t work!” she insisted. I smiled, answering, “I know dear, and that’s why I’m going to look at it for you. But I have to finish exercising first.”

I understand her impatience. Waiting is misery. Especially when we are so used to immediate gratification and all the big things are out of our control. But don’t ever pray that God will give you patience: there’s only one way to learn it. Yep, by waiting. God never sprinkles pixie dust.

Sometimes we are forced to wait years for the fulfillment of our hopes and dreams. Abraham had to wait for twenty-five years before his beloved son was born, out of whom God would make a great nation. Moses had to wait forty years before he could carry out the task of delivering his people from Pharaoh’s domination. I’m sure God had a good reason for making them wait, such as preparing their hearts to be obedient to his voice.

Ultimately, patience is waiting with a peaceful heart.

There’s a whole list of really important things that I simply can’t control in life. But I must daily remind myself that God knows my needs and desires, and will work everything out in the best way and at the best time. Patience is rooted in trusting in God.

“Don’t let your heart be deceived so that you turn away from the Lord and serve and worship other gods” Deut. 11:16 NLT.

Ever seen the movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You”? There are plenty of other dating movies, if you haven’t. You know the scenario: the woman is afraid to leave her phone for fear she’ll miss the important call and checks her voice mail obsessively just to be sure she hasn’t. She hopes and dreams that every man she meets will be her one true love.

Characters like that strike me as… pathetic. But I can’t judge too harshly. We’ve all fallen into moments of longing desperately for something, whether it was a date with our soul mate or a more lucrative career. It’s easy to fall into the trap of obsessing on the things we want and to allow this longing to control us.

But anything that means more to us than God is an idol. Those female characters in the dating movies don’t pray for God to send them the right guy at the right time and for the patience to wait until then. And how many men spend time in earnest prayer about the appropriate purchase of a boat or a job promotion? When our thoughts are fixated on something other than God, we’re travelling down the wrong path.

There’s a Praise & Worship song that declares: “I’m desperate for you… I’m lost without you…” You know, the only thing we can’t live without is a relationship with our Savior.

“So commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these words of mine. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.” Deut. 11:18-19.

Have you ever noticed that in America we tend to compartmentalize our lives? There is Home, Work, Religion, Friends, and perhaps also Sports or Hobbies. Each is a separate and distinct category, with very little crossover. But here’s the problem: Religion is a waste of time. You heard me.

A Relationship with Jesus is what makes the difference, now and forever. And that is a relationship that should not be restricted to a time and place. It should be an essential part of your identity that cannot help but to overflow into all aspects of your life.

How does your faith inform how you live daily? It should influence what you do, say and watch, as well as how you treat family, friends and strangers. It should have a direct impact on your character and integrity, which is reflected to the people who live in closest proximity to you.

Ever heard the question: If you were on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you? Are you a “Closet Christian” who feels like Religion is a private matter that should not be openly discussed? Are you afraid that people may not like you or think you are a religious freak?

When you love someone deeply and passionately, people don’t have to guess how you feel because you talk about them all the time, show off pictures and call them on your lunch break. It isn’t out of obligation: it’s natural and spontaneous. Do you love the Lord that way?

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11-13

As I confront the ramifications of losing my full-time job, I can relate to the character of Rebecca Bloomwood in the movie, Confessions of a Shopaholic. Let me clarify that I’ve never been a true shopaholic: I could never afford it and I don’t believe in accruing debt. But I did enjoy a good shopping spree now and then, even if everything was on clearance. But now I’m forced to stop and evaluate: “Do I need this?” When your budget dramatically shrinks, every purchase has to be thoughtfully analyzed.

When I see a beautiful pair of boots, I release a deep sigh of longing. How I would love to bring them home with me! Just as Rebecca confessed that when she shops, all is right with the world, then it isn’t, and she has to go shopping again—I think most of us can admit we’ve experienced the elation of therapeutic shopping. Now deprived of this pleasure, I must readjust my thinking and my expectations to meet the reality of my financial situation.

And you know what? I don’t need another pair of boots (as my daughter would tell you) and after the initial feeling of longing, I actually feel a certain amount of satisfaction walking away from them.

I have everything I need to live well. I have a loving family, a roof over my head, food to eat, and plenty of shoes. Above all, I have a relationship with the Creator. I am truly blessed.

“The Lord had said to Abram, ‘Leave your native country… and go to the land that I will show you. …So Abram departed as the Lord had instructed.” Genesis 12:1-4.

God could have given him the name of the final destination, an estimated travel time and maybe a few road marks along the way. But I guess Abram would have relied on the map instead of faith, and God is in the business of building faith.

A few weeks ago I learned that my job as teacher’s aide was hinged on the receipt of Pre-K contracts. Without this job, I cannot afford to send Grace to the Calverton School. I told Grace we must trust that God’s plan is the best plan, and accept it whether we like it or not. My Plan B was to homeschool.

The day before school started I received the official word: no job. Grace and I were both disappointed, but I had my Plan B—God’s Plan A—ready to initiate. As I move forward with it, God is providing the right people and resources for us and already I feel blessed to be where he wants us to be. I am excited about this new phase in our lives. I have learned that God’s plans are for my ultimate good, if I am willing to yield my life to his wisdom. God will not lead me anywhere he is not willing to accompany me.

I’m still working out details about income, and trying to assemble an expert curriculum for Grace. But one thing I know: God will lead me and he will provide for us. I will choose to trust him, despite any pangs of anxiety.